dec 17 2011
23.48
wendyhouse...
few minutes before midnight and wondering and thinking of sd xxx
chatting with ms v..
she is asking me how my friday and saturday went ;)
i told her this morning when she messaged me,
i would drop by to see her if i was around that area today :)
friday ...
how wonderful it ended...
i actually feel it didnt end until today!!!
i was there after work,
at the pineapple studio trying to learn cha cha cha ;)
when i looked at the door he was there xxxx
he mentioned it to me,
but didnt really think he can,
so still surprised to see he was there !!!!
there he was standing,looking at me,
smiling xxx
that lovely warm smile,
that always manages to take hold of me xxx
he took me away,
far away somewhere i didnt know...
i asked him where will we go?
he said somewhere nice,
so,we went in that london cab...
we were kissing and smiling and holding each other...
i was curious where were heading ...
we got there and i was surprised,
i never realized there was such a place
vietnamese restaurants all in one place!!!
we walked along,looking in where we could get in...
all were busy so went to the last one in the row...
stepping in,
wow it felt like we were in another
country while i was looking around in the restaurant
trying to take everything in xxxx
i love being in a place and seeing people who really are from
the country the restaurant says ...
we ate and chatted and joked about a lot of things..
we cant reach each others hands under the table!!!!
cos it was made too big lol
this,his hand holdng mine,
all the time
is the highlight of
the time we spend together xxx
and being sat there at that restaurant,
reminded me of my brother,
the last time he was very happy ,
he spent a few weeks in vietnam
to be with his Angel...
seeing those people serving the food
it makes me smile to know he was able to
maybe have expirienced what i have last night
while he was there xxx
i looked back at my darling,
he was looking at me smiling xxx
but cant say what i was feeling ....
in my mind i was thanking him,
i was smiling
i was looking back at him...
in my mind i was saying that i love him xxx
i asked him,how he was feeling
as he said he didnt realize,
he was starving!!!
so we ate,and we finished
our food with yummy dessert of banana fritters
and creamy coconut ice cream!!!
then he took me to another place...
wow
never been to such a place...
he didnt tell me what was inside
but i can hear
music as we got out of the car
and started to walk inside...
it was familiar music,that i know of
except it was live!!!
the building was a rundown place in a hidden corner
and i wont even know that such events were on show...
when we got in,
there was a band playing ...
latino songs!!!
i was so surprised i couldnt say anything..
so i just kissed my darling ;))))
listened to the music,
while we slowly moved...
all the while holding xxx
he saw his friend,
introduced me,i thought at first
the guy was there just hanging out,
but sd said,the guy was responsible for that night it turns out!!!
i said to sd,he didnt look like a dj,
he was wearing glasses,
i thought,when i wear my glasses,
he looked like a nerd,just like me!!!
that was funny
the singer of this band,
a man who tries to involve the crowd..
kept trying to talk and i found it hilarious the way he was saying things out loud!!!
to make people be aware he wanted to get the attention they deserve,
he was saying humanbeings!!! instead obviously of saying people...
i found it funny
but not in a bad way :)
we went upstairs,where theres another bar
comfy chairs everywhere...
we sat on a sofa,
hippies everywhere...
i looked around,
but i cant find anyone who looked like me...
i said that to sd...
he said,but no one actually looks like you lol
i knew that,but what i meant was,
someone who LOOKED like me...
same color as me,asian like me..
but never mind,
it doesnt hurt to be odd :)
there were nice women,sat around infront of us..
but then i realized...they were lesbies..
lol
they seemed nice though and some were smiling at me
the room looked like,something from an old film..
if smoking wasnt banned,i knew that room would be smoky
and it would make it look misty...
it was decorated with chinese lanterns and japanese umbrellas
hanging from the ceiling,
posters new and old,
were pasted on walls...
the music playing was latin music on the bakground...
so actually i thought,
this room is not only peculiar..
it was unique,it was confused...
but it was also beautiful...
and i felt that something that was there
before this place is being used for events..
it was an old building
with its old souls still lingering xxxx
we went back down,there was another band
playing the same latino sound...
a woman now singing...
but sd said if he didnt see her,she sounded like a man!!!lol
then we started started dancing...
and kissing...
i felt for a few moments we were floating..
my darling sd,was dancing!!!
and he was smiling...
he made this night for me,
to make me happy...
it was perfect...
HE made me happy
he came to see me,
he took me away,made sure everything would be ok xxx
didnt want the night to end and felt like it carried on
until today ;))))
couldnt sleep when i got in early in the hours of the morning...
just kept tossing and turning !!!
woke up just a few hours after,
got ready and left to sort out things for this weekend..
then he messaged me,wanting to see me
to take me out for lunch and spend a bit more time xxxx
we went to meet at the station,
went off to a place where he was thinking of pizza :)))
not there ,but went for tapas instead xxxx
this time we were sat where our hands can touch under the table ;)
he looked really nice,he felt really nice..
we were there again,
talking and laughing about all sorts of stuff...
when i think of it now,
i want to say,that maybe,he genuinely enjoy my company...
we talk about life,things that interests us together,
funny things,some touching things...
things we'd done,
then we had to go,we walked together where we'll separate
to our own way...
on the train i was resting my head on his chest,
and some kisses,finding his hand on mine...
the whole time we waited for his train
we kissed and held together tight..
i felt my lips raw from all the hard kisses we were having xxx
then he had to go,his own way...
i feel the same pinch in my heart...
everytime we have to be apart ...
i shouldnt really...
this what i tell myself to make me a bit happy...
but doing that? does it really help me? haha!
well...how can i make things easy for me?
;) no answer,i am afraid there isnt...
but i got my cinnamon,nutmeg and honey
flavoured toddle kisses,specially made for me to keep me
warm and while he is away...
by my darling sd xxxx
how this turned out,even i is still surprised...
but i know i should try harder to calm myself down,,
be reasonable and be less selfish.
this thought makes me smile,
how can i even be worried of things when i dont even know
how he now feels?
we spent more time together than maybe we thought we would..
but never felt anything wrong about it...
now,i dont even know how it should be when he actually wasnt there yet..
but yeah,how strange it felt when i suddenly feel he was gone...
or when we've been together then he was gone...
not sure what to do! and having a strange feeling all the time...
when you are watching something and suddenly you feel the emotion
of trying to stop yourself crying...like i was choking back tears...
i dont why,but thats how i felt sometimes..
i try to shake it off quickly,try to think of nice things...
that makes me smile eventually..
oh well...things are how they are,
i shouldnt think too far ...
but one thing i know...
how i feel is not all for show...
xxxxx
